转换到繁體中文

您的位置 : 首页 > 报刊   

[万叶集]律师笑话
作者:佚名

《青年文摘(绿版)》 2004年 第02期

  多个检索词,请用空格间隔。
       在美国平常百姓的印象中,律师总是脱不了“狡诈”、“吸血鬼”的形象,可是出了事又不得不跟律师打交道。在这样的背景之下,产生了许多“律师笑话”。
       Q:What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
       A:The tick stops draining you and drops off
        after you"re dead.
       问:壁虱和律师有何差别?
       答:你死了以后壁虱才会停止吸你的血,掉下来。
       Q:How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
       A:His lips are moving.
       问:你怎么看得出律师在说谎?
       答:他的嘴唇在动的时候。
       Q:Why won"t sharks attack lawyers?
       A:Professional courtesy.
       问:鲨鱼为什么不攻击律师?
       答:同业的礼貌。
       Q:What are lawyers good for?
       A:They make used car salesmen look good.
       问:律师有什么用?
       答:让二手车推销员相形之下像是好人。
       Q:How can you tell there"s an afterlife for lawyers?
       A:Because after they die,they lie still.
       问:你怎么知道律师死后并非一了百了?
       答:因为律师死了以后就躺着不动了。
       (lie still是“继续说谎”的双关语)
       Q:What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers?
       A:He would starve to death.
       问:要是把一个食人族和满屋子律师关在一起会怎么样?
       答:食人族会饿死。
       Q:Why did the lawyer cross the road?
       A:To get to the car accident on the other side.
       问:律师为什么要过马路?
       答:为了赶到街对面的车祸现场插一脚。
       Q:Why won"t vultures eat dead lawyers?
       A:There are some things that would gag even a vulture.
       问:秃鹰为什么不吃死去的律师?
       答:有些东西就连秃鹰吃了也会噎着。
       (陈四化摘自台湾《时代解读》2003年第2期)